apostate

The mental abuse of keeping sweet

Leaving a high demand religion is hard, healing is harder and speaking out is the hardest. I wanted to share a story that showcases the intense and overwhelming emotions involved with dismantling your religion. How quickly you become a criminal in your own community, lining up for you mug shot.

Slowly you become less of a stranger and rebuild a sense of self, how alien you feel examining your bare shoulder in the sunlight and knowing you need something stronger than chamomile tea to calm the rage brewing.

Meet Stephanie, hair stylist extraordinaire and apostate who has a freed herself from eternal darkness. Weaving words that echo in the holes of many hearts. This is her escape

“But sometimes, we have no choice. We have to do something new. We have to follow what we were always taught to fear, otherwise we aren’t really living, only pretending, playing house, living in fragile shell. And on the other side of that fear is actual life itself. It’s everything that makes us human. Our rage, our strength, our grief, our messiness, our passions, and ultimately, our love. And I have found this to be more liberating, more beautiful, more alive than anything I was ever given inside of that circle.” - stephaine